Behind Enemy Lines

Part 2 of the 6.5 page journal entry.

"This has been an emotionally crazy week. I think ti can be best summarized by something Ryan Low said in the senior prayer Sunday night, something Dr. Corey said Tuesday night, and something I said 4 years ago. Chronological order ready go. When Ryan was praying for us, he described us as 'lights planted behind enemy lines'. This really struck me. We are most certainly in a war, but not only that. We are fighting amongst the ranks of the enemy. And not quietly and sneakily. What do lights do? They shine.

Yes we are not to fear. We didn't just happen to wander across the battlefield and end up in enemy territory. God planted us there, and He has his hand of protection on us.

Fast forward to Tuesday night.

Dr. Corey described our path through life through the analogy of crossing state lines and being greeted by 'welcome to ___ ' signs. He said when they had moved out to CA, after they had passed the 'Welcome to California' sign, he looked at his son Anders who had tears running down his face. Anders said 'Dad, turn around, I want to go home.'

That's how Dr. Corey said we all are when faced with something new. One chapter closes, and we see the next "welcome to" sign and panic. We want to go back to the familiar, but that chapter is over. We can never go back. We can only move forward. But we never move alone, God is always with us.

And the third piece: wisdom from myself

The final thing came with the return of a letter I had written to myself as a freshman. The entire 3x5 notecard (in very sloppy handwriting) was covered in questions. 'Am I in band?' 'Do I have friends?' 'Are they lifelong friends?' I realized that how I have felt in the last couple weeks is exactly how I felt at the beginning of my Biola career: torn in so many different directions and anxious about what to expect.

Now to tie all this together

What I have been feeling is the dread of a new life chapter. I see the 'welcome to grad school' sign, and I want to run as fast as I can back to the 'welcome to Biola' sign. But I can't. And besides, I felt the same fear of the 'welcome to Biola' sign when it appeared on my horizon anyway.

God has been with me in my time at Biola, and I have no reason to believe things will be any different at SDSU. Christians aren't supposed to live permanently bubblized.

'Planted behind enemy lines'

It's time to leave the bubble.

I think that's why my trip to Romania comes at such a perfect time. I've benefited immensely being at Biola and grown so much. It's time to share that with the world, it's time to shine."

Romania journaling forthcoming.