Don't Be Sorry

A common response to "I'm sorry". Generally I shrug it off as an almost rote response, but when a friend said it tonight, I stopped to think about it. This is in part thanks to group last week. One of the members was sharing about something traumatic, at least from most perspectives, in his past. The counselors asked how the rest of us felt hearing about it. I communicated (in a very emotional sounding voice, I was getting a little too close for comfort to tears) how sad I was for him, and how I couldn't imagine being in that situation.

The counselor noticed the emotion in my voice and commented on it. I mentioned that I have always been very good at empathizing with people. This was interpreted to mean that I related to the other group member's story, but I don't. I mean, as was pointed out, we all experience loss, but I haven't experienced anything anywhere near what he has.

I just always imagine what I think it would feel like to be in someone else's situation. Sometimes it makes me happy, other times angry or frustrated, and still others it makes me incredibly sad. I feel other's pain deeply, which is a big part of why I can't have too many people at once confiding in me; it becomes overwhelming.

So when a friend told me something that they felt sad about, and I responded "I'm sorry" and I was beginning to feel that sadness myself, "don't be sorry" caught my attention. I thought about it; I don't have to feel the same thing the person oes to be supportive. I don't need to subject myself to pain to relate to people. There's enough pain in life without creating more for myself.

Goal: Keep more of my own composure so I can be encouraging and helpful to people who are hurting.

I'm Diving In...

Taking on the same theme as last week's post...haha The Steven Curtis Chapman song came to mind when I was thinking about this post, so I figured I'd run with it...er, swim with it? :)

Group was amazing tonight. I have such a peace right now about life--a very nice change from last week's feeling of uncertainty. I didn't have the nerves until I got there. There was so much I wanted to talk about, but I still didn't want to take a lot of group focus. I was the first one to speak, and I basically did word/emotions vomit, as appetizing is that is, sorry. I shared about my frustrations with my communication with my mom, with how that affects my relationships, with how I wish I could change all of it.

The responses I got were wonderful. Reassurances that, my sharing just then wasn't a burden. That others feel the same way about their relationships with their parents. My heart broke from some of the things others shared tonight. A few said it was a relief that I was the first one to start us off. That was something to think about, my sharing *helped* people, not *hurt* Someone also suggested (through question) asking my mom to continue in the conversations with me, and that I may need to tell her when things are hurting me, because we are different, so she might not realize it.

I feel like already we're starting to bond as a group. I want to know more about the others. It's quite exciting because I barely know them, but I know what I can be praying about for them, which is great. I am so thankful God has brought me into this situation, I think He will bring a lot fo growth out of it for me.