Don't Be Sorry

A common response to "I'm sorry". Generally I shrug it off as an almost rote response, but when a friend said it tonight, I stopped to think about it. This is in part thanks to group last week. One of the members was sharing about something traumatic, at least from most perspectives, in his past. The counselors asked how the rest of us felt hearing about it. I communicated (in a very emotional sounding voice, I was getting a little too close for comfort to tears) how sad I was for him, and how I couldn't imagine being in that situation.

The counselor noticed the emotion in my voice and commented on it. I mentioned that I have always been very good at empathizing with people. This was interpreted to mean that I related to the other group member's story, but I don't. I mean, as was pointed out, we all experience loss, but I haven't experienced anything anywhere near what he has.

I just always imagine what I think it would feel like to be in someone else's situation. Sometimes it makes me happy, other times angry or frustrated, and still others it makes me incredibly sad. I feel other's pain deeply, which is a big part of why I can't have too many people at once confiding in me; it becomes overwhelming.

So when a friend told me something that they felt sad about, and I responded "I'm sorry" and I was beginning to feel that sadness myself, "don't be sorry" caught my attention. I thought about it; I don't have to feel the same thing the person oes to be supportive. I don't need to subject myself to pain to relate to people. There's enough pain in life without creating more for myself.

Goal: Keep more of my own composure so I can be encouraging and helpful to people who are hurting.