Normal

Over the last 3 days I have come to the conscious conclusion that I am normal. Of course, it has been forming in my subconscious for the last month, but only this week I am fully realizing how not messed up I am.

This is what group is so helpful for: coming to an understanding that I am not alone in anything I struggle with. A little bit of personality type reading has also helped to perpetuate this epiphany. I shared the Myers-Briggs test with a friend, who became very excited about it. She came up as an INFJ, which happens to be the same as Tad. I am an ISFJ. Anyway, she was sending me snippits of her personality profile, so I decided to look mine up again.

Well what should I find in my profile, but the following:

"One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they 'didn't want to burden anyone with.'"

Is that not what I started going to counseling for? I read that and thought to myself "This is a part of my personality, it's *normal*" Now, is it good? No, it isn't healthy for anyone to keep things to themselves. But there are a TON of human tendencies that are unhealthy and need to be overcome. For right now it is enough, and an immense relief to realize that I'm no more messed up than anyone else on this planet.